Just A Little Update

2:12 PM 2/17/2014

Well hello.

First, I just wanted to wish everyone a late happy Valentine’s day. Hopefully it was everything you all hoped for and more.

For those who didn’t have a sweetheart like myself, hoping you spent it with a friend or two. I don’t see why we need a day

for people to express their love. I mean shouldn’t that be done everyday? Why does there have to be one designated day for

it? And another thing, why did they pick a character running around in a diaper and shooting arrows to represent this day? I

wouldn’t want a toddler looking dude to chase me and shoott arrows at me, that’s just nuts! No, I’m not bitter about the

holiday, just curious. haha! Talking about Valentine’s day brings a song to mind. “Cupid, draw back your bow and let your

arrow go, straight to my lover’s heart for me.” Oh, another one comes to mind as well. “Stupid cupid, stop pickin’ on me.:

haha! that one’s actually a fun one. I’m going to cover that one. I don’t know, I just don’t get it. Maybe I’m not supposed

to but at any rate…next topic?

Alright, going to eat my yogurt and then I’m going to get ready to get off work so I’ll return in a while. Got some things

to do right after I’m off so it’ll be a bit before I work on this entry again. Bye for now.

10:24 AM 2/18/2014

Yep, so it’s a whole new day. I ended up getting busy yesterday and did not have the time to work on this entry. Well, that

and I sort of kind of forgot about it. Happens I suppose. So here I sit back at work writing again. The phones are slow today

which is ok because it gives us a bit of a break. Ron, one of our retired drivers came in and brought us coffee at Jason’s

request. In his words, “Ask Ron if he can come and bring us some good coffee, the coffee i made tastes like swamp piss.” I

wasn’t going to ask him how he knows what swamp piss tastes like. I don’t want to know. LOL! Nah, Jason’s awesome. I couldn’t

have asked for a better boss. He’s fun.

1:12 AM 2/23/2014

So as you can see I’m still working on this bloody entry. By the time I actually get finished with it, it will be hella long.

OH well, let’s see how many of you stay with me and read it. :P.

Alright, I haven’t done one of these silly little quizzes for ages and forever so here ya go.

Song lyrics I relate to.

Ruin Me
By: Shiloh

Drawings of a happy place
Pictures of a joyful face
The reality of the hell I’ve made
All I ever had slowly desecrate

And I look out my window
Not thinking of my mistakes
Everything is all good
What else can I create to ruin me

Porcelain dolls on a dirty shelf
The memory of my old self
All the things I’ve done to make it worse
The impulsive mind that completes my curse

And I look out my window
Not thinking of my mistakes
Everything is all good
What else can I create to ruin me

Picture frames with no photographs
I don’t ever think of the after math
Don’t know why I hurt, all the ones I love
All this pain I caused, fits me like a glove

And I look out my window
Not thinking of my mistakes
Everything is all good
What else can I create
A confused mind, a broken soul
Good or bad, I’m not one of those
A confused mind, a broken soul
Good or bad, I’m not one of those

I look out my window
In the face of my mistakes
Everything has gone bad
What else can I create to ruin me
To ruin me… can’t let this ruin me

When I heard this song, it brought me to tears. I couldn’t help but think it’s exactly how I feel at times. It sums

everything up in so many words. I don’t know who Shiloh is but i’d like to cover her song. We’ll see if i can get through it

without crying. If i can’t then oh well, it’s just a part of me I suppose. Brings meaning to my singing. I’m pretty sure that

Flint can replicate the piano playing, he’s good at that sort of thing. I’m not one for listening to songs on repeat unless

I’m depressed but this one I did. Thank you to Shiloh whoever you are for writing such a beautiful and heartfelt song.

I’m not always feeling so messed up. Sometimes I feel my life is meaningless and I know it isn’t. I have so many things to be

thankful for. First and foremost I’m still breathing. With out breath, there’s no life and I still have that so for that I am

grateful. I have friends, a home, two cats who love me, a job, money to pay bills so I can keep said home, family, and so

much more. Why I feel this way at times I don’t know. Being diagnosed as I was just bites. These days my good days out number

the bad days. For that, I am thankful. It’s hard at times to put exactly into words how I am feeling. People ask me what’s

wrong all the time and I don’t know how to answer. At times the only way to express my feelings is by tears and that’s when

I’m alone so no one can see me cry. I paste on a fake smile just so that people won’t think there’s something wrong. I’m

really good at pretending that nothing’s wrong, sad how I can act like I’m happy even when I’m not inside.

On a much happier note, it’s finally the season I have bene waiting all winter for, Spring has finally sprung! Today we are

supposed to get up to 76 degrees and that’s just a beautiful thing. For the past little while it has been in the fifties and

sixties and I’ll take that too. I’m hoping that it stays this way now and doesn’t go back to winter. We had a hard winter

this year. It was cold and snowy, it seemed to go on forever. I’m thinking that is why I had been so down for a lot of the

winter. I always charished the days that the sun came out even though the sun and I don’t get along. I’m much rather have the

sun than the cold snow and ice, it makes for a hard landscape to travel.

9:32 AM 4/10/2014

Back again today to see if I can’t finish this entry. I have a habbit of working on entries for days and either not finishing

them or just deciding that I don’t like how they turned out, so they don’t get posted.

Recently I have bene seriously thinking of getting a guide dog again. I don’t think I ever really stoped considering it but

it has been more now then it was. Jason says that if I go to guide dog school that I’d still have a job when I got back so

I’m not worried about that at all. One of my worries is that my youngest cat, Luna seems to have something against dogs. I

know this because my friend Will will sometimes bring his dog up to my apartment and Luna flips out. She hisses and spits and

just generally becomes a total bitch for lack of a better word. I wouldn’t want her to hurt my dog if I bring one home and

I’m scared she might. I also know there’s the possibility that she will get used to the dog and eventually leave the dog be.

I feel as if I have to make a choice between Luna and a guide dog. I refuse to give up Luna so I guess my question is, do I

chance getting a dog and hope that she’ll get used to him/her or do I forget it and wait till I no long her Luna? Ozzy I’m

not worried about, I know he’d be fine with a dog in the house. I’ve been wanting to go and get a dog for years now.

12:11 PM 4/14/2014

Well, let’s see if i can finish this thing today, shall we?

Here are some links that either angered me or amused me. You can read if interested.

This one both angers me and makes me sick at the same time. How could someone do this?

Police accuse Utah woman of killing seven babies she gave birth to over 10-year period: http://bit.ly/1quLdcQ

This was sooo cute. At the same time, I felt sad for this little girl.

‘I don’t want to turn four’: Little girl dreads birthday http://t.co/Suo48rJsOB http://t.co/auTNMNC2XU

Thing never ceases to amuse me. There’s a part one but it’s not as funny in my oppinion.

part 2 of the toilet pickel war! http://sndup.net/r2ck/a #audio

haha! Scratch-n-Sniff jeans? Oh my.

VIDEO: Check out these scratch-and-sniff jeans http://yhoo.it/PYPI2f

LOL! What a complaint to make to a police officer! Way to turn yourself in!

UNUSUAL: Woman complains to police about marijuana quality http://bit.ly/1qgCCbL

Usualy I’m against parents invading their child or in this case teen’s privacy but in this cdase, i’m so happy she did. I now

see things in a different light ever since reading this article.

Utah mom may have saved her teenage son’s life by monitoring his Facebook page http://cbsn.ws/1lMvZjQ

You make threats like this, you deserve whatever punishment you get!!! How friggin stupid can you be? You idiot! After the

events of 9/11 how could anyone even thing of pulling a prank like this? In the article it said the girl is scared, well she

should be! Dumb, idiotic, moronic…ugh! Obviously she has no brain, anyone with half a brain would know you shouldn’t do

things like that and expect to get away with it. You will get caught every time. I hope your punishment was worth your little

joke. Of course the thing is, she probably will get no more than a slap on the wrist. She may have to do a bit of community

service or something like that simply because of her age. If it were me, I’d send her to prison just so she can see what it’s

like to be in one, maybe it would change her straight. I’m done with this topic. My blood’s boiling and it needs to quit

that.

Girl (14) questioned over American Airlines Twitter threat http://iti.ms/1jEZbpX via @IrishTimesBiz

1:43 PM 4/14/2014

My job’s still going really well. I still love it here and the people are still nice and fun to hang out with.
This summer I will be taking a second job. My duties will still be the same as they are at Land To Air but instead of

reservations and Grey Hound stuff I’ll be making appointments for people to get their computers fixed. This work too will be

fun as I will be working for a friend of mine. Not sure what else he will have me do along with answering phones but it’s

exciting nonetheless. The only thing I hope is that I don’t get work burn out. LOL! Nah, it’ll be fine. I can’t wait.

This Wednesday I will be going out with a couple of friends to Diamond Joes. Diamond Joe’s is a casino in Iowa and I keep

saying I’m going to win big. I will have a set limit however and when that’s gone I’m done. I’m not going to go all crazy like i could because it’s just not worth all that. My friends from my apartment complex, Cassi, Rene and Sue have all decided like I did. It will be fun to hang with the girls. I wish Mary could come with us but She’s just too weak and it saddens me that she feels like that. We don’t know how much longer she has and I would just love for her to be able to get out and do something. I understand what cancer can do to a person though, I remember what Jim dealt with and how he felt. It certainly takes a toll on one’s body. So, here’s my mantra if you will, I’m gonna win big for Mary. Anyway, i have won at Mystic Lake, not anything huge but I did ok. there was once I went and lost, blah. My friends Doug and Terry from work will also be going as well. This time I’m not canceling to work. LOL! The last two times I have tried to do this I ended up working.

Well, I suppose, this entry’s long enough so I’m going to get it posted. Ha! I finished it today, I knew i could.

<3<3<3Love makes the world go round<3<3<3

Lily